The following are some core principles I use to approach my work:
We are wounded in relationships: so we will be healed in relationships. None of our woundings happened in a vacuum. Your inner dialogue that is so negative may sound like it exists on its own but it was learned, internalized, repeated in relationship. Part of therapy is to experience healing relationally with me, your therapist. This does not mean I will replace mom/dad/spouse/friend - but I will serve as a safe place to re-experience these moments and consider how they have affected you.
We are all making meaning: You may not be aware of the meaning you are making, but all of us are constantly making meaning of our experiences, our interactions, our understanding of the world. Our work is to be curious about this meaning-making - is it congruent with how you want to live? Does it help you become who you want to be?
We tend to over-rely on what made us safe as children: We make our way through our childhoods finding safety. The mechanisms of this safety may be appropriate and secure, or anxiety inducing and problematic. When we are unaware of these mechanisms for pursuing safety, we risk recreating relational patterns that are incomplete, and at times harmful.
Being known is scary but where we start the process of becoming whole: Being known is vulnerable and can challenge our inner narratives about how lovable we are. While we all can articulate a fear of rejection, it can be much harder to face our fear of being accepted and loved. Sharing these parts of yourself with a therapist can be the start of learning to accept them and make space for others to accept them as well.
What is therapy?
Some people come to therapy knowing exactly what they want to talk about; others come because they are curious about the changes they have seen in their friends or spouse who have started their own work.
Therapy is a space for you to explore, without judgment, the patterns and beliefs that have contributed to where you find yourself. We have all developed ways of existing in relationship that help us feel safe. The problem comes when these ways of existing actually prevent us from developing intimacy, or worse, create real brokenness.
You don’t have to know what these ways of existing are - that’s part of our work is exploring them and cultivating a curiosity. This can also involve learning to identify emotions, learning to express these emotions in a healthy way, and moving toward greater vulnerability in your relationships.
A common misconception about therapy is that you come to me for me to give you guidance and wisdom. You can see me more as a partner in exploration. I may not know where you are going but I will be curious and ask questions about what I sense is driving you in the direction you are headed. You get to decide what to do with your awareness and I will seek to empower you to make the best decisions for yourself to live a happy, healthy, and full life.
You should consider working with me if…
You are currently dissatisfied with your life and relationships
You are curious about why you think the way you think
You want to communicate better in your relationships
You want to heal from pain that has felt too difficult or scary to face alone
I may not be your therapist - but I feel a deep conviction to help people find someone who is - don’t hesitate to reach out to me to explore other options.
